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Kingdom Hearts RPG

In Darkness and In Light


July 8th, 2006

Log Akuroku 1 @ 02:38 pm

fake_key:
Characters: Axel, Roxas
Location: Twilight Town, Roxas' Apartment
Warnings: MA for sex

The surroundings were different. Axel looked around and found himself in a cluttered room rather than a beach. Maybe that was why he was having trouble making himself dream about Roxas lately, though his reluctance was probably the biggest factor. He wasn’t quite sure how to face his best friend after what he said and did the last time they met. He was going to have to figure it out fast, though, as the blond was sitting at a desk right in front of him.

“…How’re you holding up, Roxas?” he asked tentatively to the boy’s back.

Startled, the blond jumped to his feet, the chair clattering to the floor at the sudden move. There was a high strung tension running through the boy's body, every muscle strained as if he was waiting for an attack and eyes blazing. It was only after a moment that Roxas visibly relaxed, tension draining from him as he recognized the other. "Axel..." His voice was tired as he sunk back to lean back against the table, tiredly running a hand through his hair. "It has been some time."

“You look a little stressed there,” Axel said in almost a joking tone, wanting to reach out and touch the boy in reassurance, but unsure of what kind of reaction that would cause. “I wasn’t sure if you… wanted me to come back after what I said last time I was here.” he continued, rather sheepishly. In fact, he was more than sure Roxas didn’t want to see him anymore, this was all selfishness on his part.

Roxas sighed. He knew he looked like a mess, there were still colourful bruises and cuts littering his skin, half healed or close to fading, and stressed was probably the understatement of the year. Right after 'Haunted Houses are harmless fun'.

"You told me to wait," he said, bright eyes fixed on Axel, who looked quite out of place in his small apartment. "So I did."

Axel breathed a laugh, “I did say that, didn’t I?” he said, finding himself unconsciously fingering a cut on Roxas’ cheek. “I just didn’t want you doing something crazy after hearing what I said.” He grimaced slightly before finishing, “No one should ever have to be told things like that. Sorry.”

The faint sting that followed Axels touch made the blond frown lightly, just as his words did. "There is no need to feel sorry, you just sped up what was inevitable. Although," he crossed his arms over his chest. "You could have done it with a bit more tact, but that is probably asking for too much." He smiled faintly.

Axel laughed, finally making himself pull his hand away, “You know me, the most tactful person in the world,” he said with a grin. “But you look like your doing okay. Except for whatever you did to yourself recently that got all these cuts and stuff all over yourself.” he added in exaggerated suspicion.

The smile faded from his face and instead a serious expression took over as he was all to clearly reminded of the incident a few days ago. "A friend and I had a run in with a few Heartless in the World that Never Was."

“The World that Never…” Axel repeated, disbelief flooding his voice, “How did you get there?” There was no way Roxas could have really been at the base, not without Axel knowing. Then again, hadn’t Axel decided that this was all somehow a dream? The idea was plausible, though still horribly unlikely.

"I didn't want to believe it either and it does sound rather unbelievable. But then, recently my whole life does sound like a questionable story out of a video game." With a sigh he picked up the chair from the ground, taking a seat again.
"There was a fair in town. They had a haunted house there which I had never noticed before. It was called Castle Oblivion..."

Axel crossed his arms in front of his chest in thought. “Castle Oblivion at a fair… It almost sounds like someone is trying to force old memories on you.” He supposed there were a few people out there that would try that, though certainly no one he was working for. “What did the inside look like?” he asked finally.

"The entrance hall was white, bare but for a few pillars and a door. It was the rooms after though that were strange." Roxas frowned, scowling as he recalled his time in the castle. "We went farther, the first door brought us to the World that Never Was, at least I am fairly certain it was, or at least it was a fairly good representation. Down to every little detail, NeoShadows and a bunch of other Heartless included. We barely made it out there alive."

“That’s definitely not something you normally put in a fair, it’s got to be some outsider’s doing…. I’ll have to look into that when I get back. You, in the mean while,” Axel said, pointing at Roxas for emphasis, “need to start being extra careful, It looks like you’ve got people after you coming from all sides and there’s no guaranty that any of them are good.“

"Trust no one, correct?" Roxas' attention shifted briefly from Axel as he turned to the paper cluttered surface of his desk, searching for something. "By any chance, do you know someone who might have drawn...," he finally tugged out a slightly crumpled and water stained paper, smoothing it out a bit before handing it to Axel. "This?"
It was only a hastly done drawing in coloured pencil, some places stained by wetness, yet it was still clear what had been portrayed, or rather who. Axel and Roxas, both dressed in black, facing two other members of the Organization.

Axel looked at the drawing curiously before chuckling amusedly. “I didn’t know she drew this…” he said to himself first, “A girl named Namine drew this. She’s… well, she’s kind of the person who started the whole mess with you and your friend’s memories.” He gave the picture one last wistful look before handing it back to Roxas. “She’s actually not all bad. At least, I can’t think of a reason she’d do anything to mess with you.”

Roxas voice was soft as he spoke again, carefully setting the picture down on the table. "I found this together with some other drawings in the castle."

“So she’s still at the castle, then…” Axel mumbled to himself. That would be the next place to look for Roxas while he was awake. “Not that I want to put you in mortal danger again, but if you happen to find yourself in that castle again, that would probably be a good place to find out about yourself… Other than myself, of course.” he added with a grin.

Roxas made a face. "Thank you, I think I will pass. My curiosity will have to be sated with whatever you are able to tell me. I really do not feel up to another game of cat and mouse with a horde of heartless."

Axel laughed loudly, “I don’t blame you! And I’m here to satisfy your curiosity. So do you have any burning questions that hopefully don’t have depressing answers like last time?” he asked, holding his arms out as if welcoming those questions.

Roxas couldn't help but grin too, Axel's laugh was infective and like the times before he found himself at ease with the young man. "Let's hope so and please, if they are, rather keep silent. I can only deal with so much life destroying news at a time." There were many questions that still haunted the boy, some more than others. But he settled for one of the less risky for now. "How do you get here? I never see you come or leave. You just appear and vanish into thin air again."

“…Actually,” Axel says after a moment, “I have no idea.” His grin faded as he tried to think. He really had no clue as to the ‘how’, just that it happened. “I just… fall asleep with you in mind and suddenly I end up right next to you.”

Roxas frowned, some of his suspicions about his current circumstances growing.
"Dreams and memories...it all revolves around those two somehow." He trailed of for a moment, face thoughtful. "Have you tried traveling to Twilight Town or Destiny Island while awake?"

“I went to the island recently, but… It was empty, and there was no sign of Riku when I investigated the mainland, either. Twilight Town is my next stop when I wake up.” Axel thought for a moment before voicing his own theory. “Maybe you’re asleep somewhere and we’re just meeting in our dreams.”

Roxas sighed, folding his arms on the top of the table and resting his head upon them. The blond looked up at Axel with furrowed brows, voice glum as he spoke. "You really do seem to enjoy questioning everything about my existence. First I am meant to fade, and now the life I lead is but a dream?"

“Oh, uh, shit, I mean…” Axel mumbled, mentally kicking himself. He was doing that thing Roxas had mentioned earlier, where he says things with no tact. He ‘ought to… work on that, but he was so used to Roxas not caring that it was odd to see the boy so worked up over an existence he had once been so used to. “That’s not to say that, well, you know… you had a life before you went to sleep and that was important. At least… to me it was.” Axel trailed off, unsure of what to say next without calling the life Roxas was living now worthless.

"It's okay." The boy's brow smoothed out, his face thoughtful and resigned instead of depressed. "You are probably right, it would explain quite a few things that just wont add up, but...." Roxas' gaze shifted from Axel, looking at some far off distance. " 'No one would miss me', I said something like that, didn't I? What kind of life did I lead if I was so willing to give it up..."

“You were wrong when you said that,” the red head stated plainly. He continued with a little more caution in his choice of words. Tact, he must learn tact! “It was… a pretty confusing and unfair life, but you weren’t alone in it. Everyone at the organization leads the same life, and we all want the same thing…” Axel’s gaze had fallen to the floor beneath him, and he stared at it intently. “We all want… to be whole again.” But only Roxas could achieve that. Though, that fact seemed better left unsaid.

Roxas smiled faintly, noticing the other's caution in how he chose to phrase things. It was...nice of him, though there probably was hardly anything left that would affect Roxas like that first conversation. To learn that he was an existence not meant to be. "A heart, the one thing we are missing. That would be Sora for me.. but, what I have been wondering. Missing our hearts, in the literal sense or is it just a phrase, meant to convey that we are not whole?"

“Well, we have that organ, it’s sorta important,” Axel said with a chuckle without thinking. He forgave himself for that slip of self control, however, since it hadn’t been about anything traumatizing. “What we’re missing is more like… our spirit, the part of ourselves that….” How to word it? If he was too vague, he’d have to explain himself anyway, so, “makes our emotions real.”

Roxas' smile had become wider at the other's first few words, lightly shaking his head. Tact seemed to be something foreign for Axel, but it was okay. It wouldn't be Axel otherwise. But his amusement faded soon, their topic wasn't a joking matter after all.
"...real emotions...so, all I have felt was fake?", he said after a few moments of silence. "Yet I can not tell the difference, until a few weeks ago I did not even know that the emotions I had were supposed to be anything but real..." He frowned. "It doesn't make much sense. Who is saying what is real anyway..."

Axel blinked. Who indeed. Leave it to Roxas to question what everyone else had always considered common knowledge. “Um… well,” Axel thought for a moment, but when the first memory you have is being told that you’re heart was stolen and you’re only half a person, it becomes as common knowledge as the need to breath air. No normal person asks the ‘whys’, they just know that it’s the way it is. “I guess… the boss is. He came up with just about everything there is to know about us.” Axel’s faith in his own knowledge was beginning to falter.

"And everyone is just happily going along with what this 'boss' says? No one ever bothered to question what he came up with, as you put it?" Roxas looked up at Axel, eyes narrowed and brows furrowed. "Sounds pretty stupid to me. Up until the point you told me that I am a Nobody I didn't consider myself anything less than normal. Certainly, I have been missing memories, but I felt real. I never questioned my existence, nor did anyone else."

Axel stood rather stumped, turning Roxas’ words over in his mind as he considered the facts. “…I feel like we’ve switched roles, and now you’re the one making me question my identity,” he said, finally, unable to truly disprove Roxas’ words.

Roxas smiled softly. There wasn't much he could say. All things considered they were pretty much in the same position. They were both Nobodies, but he had had the chance to be somebody, to taste a life without the restrictions that some one else placed on him. "I think.. we can be whatever we want to be. How we see ourselves and others see us defines who we are. Not rules and so called facts that a stranger imposed on us and called the truth."

“Geez, Roxas,” Axel said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment, “You’re starting to make me want to leave the organization just so they can chase me down and try to kill me. But you’re right, I don’t… feel like I’m not a person. It’s not like anything is stopping me from living like a normal person or anything. And my emotions feel real enough.” At each new discovery this new concept brought Axel became more confident and excited. “And if my emotions are real then I can finally stop denying that I’m in lo-wait, no,” saying THAT would still be a very bad idea, though, even if Roxas hadn‘t forgotten several things about their past.

"Deny what?" Roxas asked curiously. It wasn't like Axel to censor his words. So far he had nearly always said the very thing that he thought, heedless of what Roxas might think of it. Axel had promised the truth and had given it. To cut himself short like this seemed strange.

“Deny… Something I’m going to keep denying so you don’t need to know!” Axel said a little too quickly and with a tiny squeak to his voice. Even with his newfound mindset, the phrase ‘I’m in love with you’ was not something easily said. It was not even something either of them had ever said, that emotion was far too strong and meaningful to be pretended by mere nobodies.

There was a smug little grin on Roxas' face, amusement bright in his eyes. "Denial is just the refusal to accept the truth, but if it makes you feel more comfortable..." He shrugged lightly, the motion awkward as he was still slumped over onto the desk. "I wont force you to answer anything you do not want to. I ... trust you to tell me what is important."

Axel felt a little pang in his chest at the word ‘trust’. “It…depends on your definition of ‘important’ really,” he started. As he was right now, Roxas might not care about what kind of relationship they might have had, never mind how important Axel thought it was. “I know you’ve only been trying to get back your memories, and if that’s what’s important then I don’t know how relevant this is.” It wasn’t that Axel wanted to get out of telling the blond, he was just trying to spare him from more grief and confusion. That’s what Axel was telling himself, anyway.

Roxas straightened himself, faintly surprised at the sudden shift of mood. "I think it is more of someone wanting me to remember. But, I would like to know who I was and ultimately who I am now." He was serious again, the light teasing tone gone from his voice. "And even though this past does not sound happy, I am sure there must have been moments worth being kept as precious memories. I...I want to remember those and the people I made them with."

“Damn, that means it is important,” Axel mumbled to himself, looking off to the side, but finding nothing he wanted to fix his gaze on other than Roxas. Maybe he did just want to get out of saying it, but it was important and Roxas trusted him. Having tact might have been very helpful at that moment, that way he could think of a way to word everything so it wasn’t so horribly… embarrassing. But that was not the case. “Well, we were like best friends at the organization, which is saying something because most of them didn’t care about anything but themselves. But I…” Axel sighed and made himself continue, “I always denied that I was… in love with you because my emotions weren’t supposed to be real.”

Roxas was stunned, at loss for words. Wide, bright eyes simply starred at Axel, while the blonde’s face paled, just to flush a healthy red in the cheeks the next moment. His thoughts were a mess, as were his emotions. His shoulders tensed, fingers twitching in barely noticeable movement while a herd of butterflies seemed to have taken home in his stomach.
A part of him was shocked, while another did not seem at all surprised. It should have been obvious. Those kisses that had felt so familiar and warm. Friends didn't kiss each other like that. Those little flashes of green eyes when he had kissed Ha- ... oh god. He buried his face in one hand, taking a deep breath, trying to order all those thoughts that were chasing each other, that made him feel angry, elated and guilty all at the same time. Whoever said that Nobodies had no emotion must have been a fucking idiot. Roxas wished him only half the headache and twisted feelings he had in his chest right now.
"...so," his voice was surprisingly calm, belying the turmoil behind the calm facade that was only broken by stormy eyes. "I take it we were more than just best friends..." Not the best words after such a confession, especially one that had obviously cost the red-head so much. But what was he to say otherwise? To answer alike ... he couldn't. He knew that Axel was important to him, an echo of feelings that became stronger whenever they were together. But what was truly there and what was just his own confusion. Axel didn't deserve a lie.

“…Yeah,” Axel answered after a moment, “there just wasn’t a decent way to refer to it when we were sure we didn’t have emotions.” That there had been no ‘Oh, Axel, I was in love with you too,’ didn’t bother the red head. He would have called Roxas a liar, even back then. He didn’t need requited feelings, or even a response to his confession. He just needed Roxas. “Sorry, that kind of came out of no where. I never told you that before, so…” if only taking it all back would not sound cowardly and retarded. “Don’t worry about it too much,” he tried, but the look on the boy’s face was already confused enough as it was. “But, it’s too late to be saying that now, sorry.” The urge to wake up was strong, but leaving at that point might have made things worse.

"Stop saying sorry already." Roxas frowned lightly. "It's not you style at all. And there is nothing to feel sorry for." He trailed off for a moment, gathering his thoughts and choosing his words, picking at what he was going to say with care. He was still confused, but was adapting fast. Maybe because he might have had his suspicions from the very beginning. Maybe because so much was happening in such a short time and it was either accepting and moving on or going crazy.
"It's alright...I should have known that there was more between us." He smiled faintly. "Especially after you kissed me. No matter how long they are apart, friends don't kiss each other like that. If anyone should be sorry, it should be me."

“It does sound kind of funny when I apologize, I guess,” Axel said, crossing his arms in only half mock contemplation. “What do you have to be sorry for? I’m the one throwing all this crap at you, and if I’m not allowed to apologize then you’d have to push me off a cliff on accident or something to warrant an apology.”

Roxas thought hard for a moment, index finger tapping against his lips, only dropping as he answered. "A cliff might be hard to arrange. Does the clock tower work too?"

“You don’t get to apologize if you do it on purpose!” Axel said with a laugh. “Why? Do you really want to be sorry that much?” he added, surprised that the air between them had gotten so easy so quickly.

Roxas smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head as he chuckled. "So, if I throw you off the clock tower on purpose I do not need to be sorry, but can just point and laugh? I will have to keep that in mind." His hand dropped back into his lap, smile vanishing from his lips but for the faintest tug at the corners of his mouth. "But seriously, there are things I should apologize for. Things I did by choice, which are different to what you have been saying sorry for all evening."

Axel laughed at the comment about the clock tower, but his smile slipped when Roxas continued. “Well, I’m sure it can’t be anything too big,” he said, giving Roxas a curious look. He hadn’t been kidding when he said what the blond would have to do to warrant an apology. Axel would forgive him for anything, even for leaving.

Roxas shook his head lightly. "It might not be big...but I will still apologize when the time is right. I still have to work through a few things that might just sound silly now." Or were not exactly the best of topics at the moment. Like leaving the way he did and kissing Hayner...and whatever had been growing between him and the other teen. The blond would have to figure out how to go about this now that he knew of the relationship he had had with Axel. Or still had for the matter. How he felt about either of them... on second thought, maybe it was quite a big issue after all.

“It’s probably something I’d just forget about in an hour anyway. I still suck at staying mad at you.” Axel said as he smiled reassuringly. Though it looked more like an amused grin, that was just the way his face worked.

Roxas had to bite his tongue to not say something lewd in response. He did not know why or how, but those thoughts and comments just kept coming, resting on the tip of his tongue waiting to be spoken. It was so easy, to banter like this with Axel. Tease like he had done occasionally with Riku and Hayner. Which might not be the best idea just now. "Might be the case, but I don't want to press my luck. I like my home scorch free, so I will leave you alone with my teenage angst for the evening," he said instead, though he couldn't help the slightly wicked curve to his lips.

“Teenage angst? Man, now I’m curious.” Axel said with a sigh, but he grinned right after. “But you don’t have to tell me yet, I’ll let it slide this time.” He ruffled the boy’s hair out of habit, it was one of the few ways he knew how to pick on the blond as Roxas was normally much better at making fun of Axel. He smirked down at Roxas, not taking his hand back. A thought had come to him. “Say… Can I kiss you again?” He’d already done it twice now, why not go for three?

Roxas frowned, though it ended up looking more like a sullen pout, as the other ruffled his hair, uselessly trying to bat away Axel's hand. People just did not appreciate all the work that went into the messy blond strands.
His expression faltered briefly at the red head's question, before returning with an added glower, giving up on trying to dislodge Axel's fingers from his head, and instead crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"I should say no just for the way you left me behind the last time."

“Come on! I promise I won’t disappear like that again.” Axel smirked as he brought his face closer to Roxas‘. “Besides, I’m going to whether you like it or not.” That was always how it would go before, as well. If Axel ever bothered to ask, Roxas would always refuse, yet he was still always a willing participant when it came to kissing. Asking permission was always for pure entertainment value.

"Gee...thanks. Why you bother asking if I get no choice in the matter anyway shall forever be a mystery to me..." The blond didn't move. Even if he could feel the other's warm breath ghosting over his skin, heavy lidded blue fixed on green, glare softened slightly by a small grin. "And you better intend to keep that promise..." he added softly, as if in after thought.

“Of course,” Axel said as soft as Roxas had spoken, “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he managed to fit in just before his lips found Roxas’. He pulled the blond closer to him with the arm that had snaked around Roxas’ back as he kissed him softly. Neither of their previous kisses had been very good, and Axel intended to fix that this time.

Roxas' hands had found their way to Axel's shoulders, fingers white against the slick, black fabric they grasped. It was a bit awkward to kiss like this, head tilted back to meet the red-head's lips, their height difference all the more pronounced for the fact that he sat. Yet, he wouldn't have it any different way. It was nice ... to be able to kiss back for once, not caught by the hesitation of surprise. A soft sigh died in his throat, eyes nearly completely shut as he leaned into the gentle pressure.
 
Axel moved his lips against Roxas' slightly, eyes shut tight in pure bliss. Catching the boy off guard with kisses was fun once in a while, but it was always better when he could kiss back. It took a moment for Axel to notice how much shorter Roxas was when he sat, and the taller man had two options; sit on the blond, or make him stand. He went for the second option, pulling the boy up to hold him closer. He pushed his lips against Roxas' harder and started slowly working his mouth open.
 
Roxas' eyes closed completely as his lips parted. For a moment he had considered being a tease, making Axel really work for it. But in the end the urgency that had been stirring ever since their first contact won out and he found himself willingly deepening the kiss. Even taking the initiative in the kiss as his tongue sought to play and his arms slipped around the other's neck, fingers entangling in fiery red strands, pressing himself closer, smaller body easily fitting against the taller's frame.
 
Roxas' willingness took Axel by surprise only because he thought the blond would have forgotten how to be a good kisser along with everything else. That, however, was apparently not the case. Not that Axel minded, of course, he didn't have to re-teach the boy this way. He responded immediately and maybe a little overly enthusiastically, suddenly feeling the urge to push the boy up against something… like a wall. There was a desk in the way of that, though. He contented himself with holding Roxas close to him, kissing him thoroughly and hungrily.
 
The blond found his attempt at taking control of the kiss, easily drowned in the enthusiasm of the other and, in the end, simply gave in to it, matching Axel's fire with his own. Roxas did not know when the kiss had turned so passionate, but he certainly did not mind. Too lost in the sweet burn of it. He broke the contact only briefly to take a wet gasp of air, the taste of the other on his tongue lips red and spit slick. His eyes fluttered open briefly, blue darkened by the first, thin haze of desire, taking in the image of the face so close to his own, which he knew he had once remembered already.
 
Axel found it was hard to remember that they were not back at the base like old times when Roxas kissed him like he had never left. It was also hard to remember that breathing was a necessity and the red head found himself gasping for air when the blond broke their kiss to breath as well. He did not let the pause in their kissing last for long, however. As soon as his lungs decided they could continue living his lips were attacking Roxas' again, his desire fueled by the sight of the boy's heavy lidded eyes. He found himself searching for an open wall to push the blond against, eyes falling on a mattress instead. That would work just as well, Axel thought to himself as he began maneuvering Roxas' body in the direction of his bed.
 
Roxas moved along, feet dragging over the ground in their slow progression through the room, more stumbling than walking as he would not break the kiss they were engaged in. His fingers were still entangled in the other's hair, playing through surprisingly soft strands of fiery red. The gentleness of his hands stood in contrast to the demand in his kiss, the passionate way in which he countered and encouraged the attack on his mouth at the same time, not even bothered by the accidental press of hard teeth against the slowly but surely bruising flesh of his lips.
 
The blond did not know where they were moving, too lost in the kiss to bother. Which would be his downfall. In the literal sense.
 They were halfway to the bed when he tripped, bare foot getting caught on a shirt he had carelessly dropped on the floor this morning. His balance, questionable as it has been to begin with, was entirely lost and with a surprised gasp Roxas found himself falling backwards.
 
With hands still tangled in his hair, Axel tripped right along with Roxas, letting out a yelp of surprise when their lips were torn apart by the fall. Their heads bumped together on impact and the intoxicating trance of kissing Roxas temporarily vanished, replaced by worry and slight confusion as to what had just happened.
 "Shit, Roxas, are you okay? What the hell just happened?" Axel babbled as his thought process had been thrown horribly off track. 
 
Roxas hissed in pain, eyes screwed shut and biting back a curse. He had not fallen hard, would probably have caught himself even, but the added weight of Axel had made it impossible. The back of his head had made a rather sharp impact with the floor, a dull throb already heralding what was sure to become quite a bump. He didn't answer the other for a very long moment, simply lying there with his limbs splayed on either side of the red head and waiting for the worst of the pain to fade to a bearable level. "I am okay," the blond managed to press out finally, sounding somewhere between resigned and annoyed with himself. "I seem to have tripped."
 
Axel sighed in relief. No magical personality switching had taken place, at least. Not like something like that was even possible. The initial surprise was wearing off, and the taller man was beginning to realize that he was no longer kissing Roxas, and that bothered him. "Maybe we should have stayed where we were," Axel said after a moment. The sudden change of destinations did nothing to stifle his desire to continue kissing the boy beneath him, but Roxas still looked like he was in pain, so resuming right away might have been a bad idea. It almost seemed… tactful, which made Axel exceedingly proud of himself.
 
The pain at the back of his head had faded to a dull throb and Roxas opened his eyes again, looking up at Axel who was still hovering above him. The haze of desire had cleared slightly, the trip down to the ground having jolted him out of his daze, and he questioned his actions for the first time this evening. His willingness to go along with whatever the red head had in mind, that even now was still present, was terrifying and exciting at the same time. And the longer he looked into those darkened, poison green eyes the smaller the voice questioning the sanity and prudence of his actions became.
 Sanity be damned. He had never claimed that any of his actions concerning Axel were sane. The grip of his hands became firm as he tugged the other down, for the first time initiating a kiss.
 
Apparently Roxas was okay now, Axel thought as he smiled into the kiss, eternally pleased that the boy was willing to kiss him on his own. He deepened the kiss instantly, quickly getting their kiss back up to the level of passion it had before they had fallen over.
 Now that the floor was keeping the blonde's body against his, Axel's hands were free to roam wherever they pleased over the body they had long ago memorized. The taller man decided to test the boy's willingness by slowly inching his shirt up his side. Axel had had his kisses, now he wanted to see just how far Roxas' trusted him. 
 
There was a moment of hesitation as Roxas felt the cool leather of gloves against his side, causing a shiver to run down his back that was not entirely due to the coolness of the fabric against his slowly overheating flesh. But it was barely a second before his mouth relaxed beneath Axel's again, fingers firmly entangled in the other's wild hair and cradling the back of his head as the blond once again tried to gain control of their kiss, unbothered by the cares that was making it's way up his side.

It seemed to Axel that Roxas was trying to be dominating with his forceful kisses, but there was no way he was giving up without a fight. He resolved that his lips would not leave Roxas’ until he was the decided victor of their tiny battle, as kissing him elsewhere would have looked like retreat.
The longer they kissed the more things seemed to be falling into their normal routine, just like old times. Having Roxas close to him again, Axel could have died from happiness. He pushed Roxas’ shirt up to his chest, making sure to run his hands over every inch of Roxas’ skin, just to make sure it was still the same.

Roxas gasped into the other's mouth inevitably making him the loser of their little duel, leaving him pliant under Axel's kiss, as the red head's hands wandered over the sensitive skin of his torso, trailing over the curve of his ribs. It should have tickled, but instead chased a soft shiver through his flesh, fanning the warmth that was pooling in his stomach. Legs flexed briefly against the other's hips, toes curling into the soft carpet under them against the feathery sensation. The blonde’s fingers had come loose from the strands  they had clutched onto, trailing their caress down over the bow of his partner's neck, down between them to nestle at the fastenings of the coat.
What little thoughts he had had were quickly drowning in sensations, in the rush of familiar and exciting feelings, and silenced by the breathy little moan as his spine arched at the sure touch, hips pressed flush against the solid above his.

Axel gasped as Roxas’ hips collided with his, suddenly making him fully aware of his arousal that he hadn’t quite noticed before. “God, I hope you trust me,” he breathed, because there was no way he could stop now. He tore, almost desperately, at the boy’s shirt, getting it completely off so he could kiss and bite down the blonde’s now fully exposed neck. He still tasted the same, to which Axel rejoiced. He made the same noises, even, and Axel had always loved those noises dearly.

Roxas escaped a small moan at the flare of pleasure and pain as Axel's lips found their way to his neck, stirring at the fading imprints of old bruises and adding a few new ones of his own. Not that the blond cared at the moment, quite lost in the other's touches who just knew where to touch him to stir another sound, played him like an instrument. With flushed cheeks he bit at this lower lip, still tingling from their passionate kissing, trying to quell those embarrassing little moans and breathy whimpers. His hands, though nearly entrapped by their close bodies had managed to undo the small clasp, familiar motions that had come to him thoughtlessly, and had fallen to the zipper, mind set on feeling something else but the coldness of leather against his bare skin.

It was amazing to Axel that Roxas could forget everything else, but still remember how to do this. He continued to find the places on the boy’s body that he knew would produce moans he couldn’t suppress. Axel took every advantage he could with Roxas, after all. He took a moment to remove his gloves before letting his hands go back to their currently aimless wandering. They’d have a destination just as soon as he worked Roxas up to the point where he couldn’t put up a fight even if he wanted to. He moved his kisses back up to the blonde’s face, alternating between kissing his lips and kissing elsewhere before settling his lips on Roxas’ again. He lifted his body slightly so the boy could have better access to removing the red head’s clothes, as that’s what he seemed to be doing.

The blond had managed to work the zipper of Axel's coat open as far as he could reach. He didn't bother with the last few inches as it would have meant breaking their kiss. Something Roxas found himself unable to do. Still, he smiled briefly, lips upturning as his hands snaked under the fabric of the coat, intent to not be the only one moaning. Fingers trailed over the red head's side, caressing the small of the back, following the curve of the spine upwards with soft touches an wandering aimlessly, mapping the taller's frame.

Axel allowed himself a low hum that he would have claimed was out of amusement more than anything else. It did not sound entirely that way, however. He lowered his body to press against Roxas’ again, relishing in that familiar feel of skin on skin. It had been too long since he had felt that, along with everything else. He ran his hands up and down the blonde’s sides for a moment before keeping them right at the hem of the boy’s pants. He hooked his thumbs under the fabric and gave an experimental tug. Roxas was not quite incoherent enough to his liking, but what could he do? The boy’s shirt was already off, so there was nothing else he could have been removing, and if worse came to worst, his hands were very close to a very easy way to make Roxas turn to melted pudding in a heartbeat.

The slide of fabric over hips, the press of fingers against the tender skin and flesh just beneath the bone was enough to jerk Roxas out of his haze. He broke their kiss with a small gasp.
The blonde’s breath was coming fast, short, wet puffs of air that stirred red hair, chest brushing against the one above with every heave. His eyes had fluttered open, just a small ring of darkened blue left around the dilated pupils, trying to catch Axel's gaze.
There was lust shining in Roxas' eyes, but at the same time nervousness, the half formed thought to stop as he finally seemed to realize where their actions were inevitable leading to.

It seemed like Axel was right about Roxas being too aware of what was happening, and despite his previous thoughts, simply having his way with the boy without his consent was not on his agenda. It never could be, not with Roxas anyway. He pulled his hands away from the blonde’s hips, bringing one up to reassuringly caress his cheek. Apparent experience aside, the boy still considered this his first time. He may not need to be taught how, but his nerves would still need to be worked away. It had been so long since Axel had done that, though, he was at a loss as to exactly how to do it. He settled for simply kissing him softly for the moment, short and chaste. He’d be damned if he was going to let the boy get away now, but if Roxas didn’t want it, then that would be that.

Roxas relaxed with a soft sigh, tension leaving his frame. Those small touches, the short kiss to his lips meant more to him in the end than the passionate touches they had engaged in before. It showed him that Axel cared. That he was willing to stop if the blond wanted him to. That he wouldn't even have to say it, as the red head was aware of his reaction.
It was reassuring. More so than any words could have been. A tangible proof that there was more between them than just lust. That it wasn't just about sex.
He smiled up at Axel, softly and affectionately, it might even be called loving as he turned his head lightly, pressing a tender kiss to the palm that had cradled his cheek a moment ago.

Axel’s face reddened considerably. Was Roxas always that cute when he smiled? But the boy’s kiss to his hand had thrown him off. It wasn’t like they had never touched or kissed in a caring fashion, it was just rare, and the red head didn’t know exactly what it meant. Did it mean ‘Gee, thanks for understanding, let’s stop now’ or did it mean ‘Aw, you’re so sweet, let’s have sex now’? He couldn’t tell. He gave the blond an embarrassed grin and kissed his cheek, but he didn’t know what to do next. What was Roxas willing to let him do now, or, more importantly, what did Roxas want him to do?

Roxas laughed softly, finger tips of one hand teasing gently along the line of Axel's cheekbone, the flushed skin farm against his flesh, before the blonde’s hand cradled the other's face, bringing him down for another kiss. Just a soft, affectionate press of lips, a sharing of breath and warmth, that he let go after a moment. He looked up at Axel, blue gaze unreadable as he seemed to search the other's eyes for an answer to a question unasked.
The smile on his lips was small and soft as he finally spoke, and broke the silence that had settled around them like a thick blanket. "I trust you."

If Axel’s throat worked he might have made some crack about how this wasn’t a new thing for Roxas, but somehow he couldn’t push the sound past his mouth, which was probably a good thing. He grinned much less sheepishly instead, showering the boy’s face in light, affectionate, kisses. That he couldn’t quite bring himself to speak was probably a good thing; he sucked with words anyway.
Giving and receiving those small kisses was so fun, the red head almost felt bad for wanting to go back to what they were doing before. Roxas was so much more at ease now and it was so much better to see him like that compared to what his words always seemed to do to the boy before. Maybe he would just stop talking now. That was working wonders.
 
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